Reflecting On 2025
It's been a while but I thought I would take some time to reflect on the last year.
Does anyone else feel like the world got dark in 2020 and never quite brightened up again, or is it just me? Granted 2020 was the first full-blown year of motherhood for me and during a global pandemic. 2021 was a good year for us as that’s when we moved to Scotland. In a lot of ways, though, some of the politically hard stuff we thought we left in the US just seemed to spread like wildfire since moving away in 2021.
Fascism has been on the rise; it feels like everywhere, MAGA in the US, Reform party here in the UK, the Labour Party catering to Reform, and these are just the two countries I’m directly affected by, though I’ve seen far-right rhetoric take root in several other countries around the world. Then, in 2023, genocide was broadcast on our phones for the whole world to see, and our governments supported it, funded it, and censored speech against it (and still do all those things).
I know the talk of these things is not exactly “cozy” but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that world events were constantly weighing on me and affecting my creative output.
So, 2025, a continuation of multiple genocides, the false promise of a “ceasefire” in Palestine, and full-blown fascism in the US (and the UK mimicing the US in more ways than one). All the while I’m trying to be a grounded and emotionally-regulated person, parent, spouse, and friend. Keeping up with my American friends and constantly wondering in the back of my head if the cruel realities of what's going on over there, ICE raids, school shootings, wildfires, or hurricanes, have touched them yet, and praying they won’t.
Honestly, for a few years now, I tend to ebb and flow between my own creativity, feeling frivolous or pointless, and absolutely necessary for my own mental health and resistance. 2025 felt like a year where I was struggling to keep afloat just a bit. My creative goals felt aimless, and I was often operating from a place of burnout.
I think I’ve been trying to operate from a place of like:
This state has left me ignoring the signs my body is trying to give me, signaling I need to slow down or rest. So the end of the year, with Christmas and New Year, when the kids were off, when Sean had time off work, and when we had nowhere really to be, I felt like I could breathe in a way I hadn’t in a while. That feeling helped me realise I probably need to adjust some things going forward, but more on that in a post about 2026.
Even through the hard things 2025 had some progress that I am proud of and want to take time to celebrate.
Things I’m proud of myself for in 2025:
I took a bit of a business leap this year and took a bigger spot at the shop where I sell my work in town. This was a risk because I had to pay more in rent and wasn’t sure if I would be able to make enough money to afford the rent each month. But the bigger spot brought my work more attention and more sales!
A picture of my new and larger space at the shop. I started therapy. I have done some counseling in the past, but I really wanted to meet with someone who could help me dig into some stuff that I felt I didn’t have the skills to unpack on my own. This has already been so helpful, even if like a workout, it can be difficult at times.
Therapy sometimes leaves me feeling a bit like a deflated balloon. Led a second year of a deconstruction group at my church. If you’ve followed me for a while, you’ll probably know that I have been deconstructing, decolonizing, and re-negotiating my faith for a while now (started in 2020, another reason that year felt so hard). Last year, I pitched the idea of a peer-led group at my church for any others who might be going through a similar process. I had more people interested than I thought, and we’ve continued the group this year. It has added to my plate of things to do, but overall has been such a solace to have a space of people who are all on a similar but different journey, where we can bring our questions and struggles with faith without judgment.
We bought our first house/flat! Sean and I bought our first place in June and have really started to settle in with the kids. Loved having our first cozy Christmas in our new home.
We let our oldest watch The Hobbit around Christmas this year, and Sean and I re-watch LOTR extended edition around Christmas and New Year’s. It’s been too long since I watched these movies. I leaned into slower and more traditional creative work. I have really gotten into knitting and crocheting this year, as well as a plethora of other fiber arts. The repetitive work of knitting and crocheting is really stimming for me, and honestly, was a lifeline. With the rise of AI I have really been drawn more and more to work that is tangible and messy, something I want to pursue more in 2026. Here are some of the pieces I worked on this year:
Some of the fiber arts projects I worked on this year including my first ever knitted jumper for myself, knit and crochet tapestries, needle felting and a butterfly cardigan for my oldest. I don’t have a great way to wrap up how I feel about 2025, probably, I’m still processing it, but I do know some things I started to make room for in my creative practice in 2025 that I want to bring into 2026 are feeling all my feelings without judgment, playfulness, mess, and imperfection.
I would love to hear about your feelings on 2025. What are some positive things you learned that you want to bring with you into 2026?
If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I have taken a pause from my Patreon, ko-fi, and ko-fi shop this month to focus on setting up a new website (so I can easily ship to the US and EU again) and to rethink my offerings on Patreon/ko-fi and how I want to show up there this year. The price of shipping to the US has gone up, and with most of my Patreon and ko-fi supporters being there, I have to change the rewards somehow to make it more profitable and time-conducive for me going forward.
Thanks always for your reading and support!
Stay curious,
Nicki
